My Wedding Invitations Will Be Pretty If It Kills Me... The Quest to Create Perfect Trash

"I hate this bulge," I thought as I scrutinized the back of the envelope containing my wedding invitations. The delicate raw pale gray ribbon which so beautifully tied together my cards within was demolishing the aesthetics of my envelope. And it was fucking unacceptable. My perfect iridescent midnight black premium thickness card stock envelope with prewritten hand lettered addresses having an unsightly bulge? Over my dead body.

"Maybe if I used the watercolored vellum belly band adorned with the mini graphic embellishments of our names on a painted background, then there wouldn't be a bulge. But I love that ribbon. If I use the 2nd set of envelopes I could use the ribbon and the wax seal with leaf embellishment on the outside! But the ribbon bow would be too large for the wax seal, and I wanted the wax seal.... If I adhere the ribbon with adhesive to lie flat then I could put the wax seal on it, and it would cover the indent on the envelopes."

I mean really, DIY florals, paper products, signs, welcome bags, centerpieces, table settings, seating charts, memory tables. I'm a DIY Sadist.


That indentation, coincidentally, had been the fatal flaw that caused the envelopes to be replaced in the first place.... After I addressed them all (because I told myself it was something stupid and I could get over it). And I knew I was being ridiculous. I was under no illusions. I realized that logically the extent that the majority of our guests would care about the invitation suite would be a 5 second, "Oh that's pretty." before most of it ends up in the trashcan.


"But your invitations are the first part of your wedding for your guests to experience. Putting these touches into it creates an entire ambience of feeling to announce what your friends and family can expect on your big night."


Meanwhile, I had noticed that the hotel's policy on early check-in time was likely going to make the shuttles and thus, the entire ceremony run late. Which didn't actually bother me. The fact that guests would be stressed thinking they were late, did bother me. It also bothered me that I figured this all out after the information was printed onto the invitation, mounted onto the hand torn black card stock.... and now the printer's return policy had lapsed. Hopefully the guests actually look at the website (Oh God, the workload of that website creation!), because that invitation isn't going to be changed. Not when it has a custom graphic landscape beneath a multitude of font decisions that rivaled 'Sophie's Choice' all artfully printed, mounted and deckle edged. **Deep breathes** But that's fine because so many people are staying over the night before that there's plenty of places incoming guests can change and store their luggage if the check in line is long. Hell, the bathrooms are a suite in and of themselves.


...But what if they don't check in at all and the hotel overbooks and has to bump someone? Maybe I should just change the wedding time and announce it on the website. Would everyone see it? Word would spread. But then I'd have to alter the shuttle times. And it's tacky. NO-- it's all fine. I'm not making another set of invitations. I'm not. My guests are grown ups, they can handle a hotel check-in on their own. Heck, that's why I'm doing one early shuttle trip-- so the many people who slept over the night beforehand or who are just parking at the hotel can arrive before the check-ins! But forget all that now-- back to the aesthetics!


These aesthetic choices that I simply MUST do in the moment, only to get halfway through and lazily make sloppy mistakes. A torn edge that is crooked. A mount job that was off centered. Only to then get another vision and need to revise.


I'll share finished pics after the wedding, but you can't see them yet...


The natural twine string was perfectly frayed to look vintage took hours upon hours to tie together all of the individual enclosure cards. Enclosure cards that had initially been created as traditional cards, only to then change my mind and tear them apart for a more whimsical moody romantic feeling a torn edge imbues. Which resulted in uneven edges around by the way.


I have become, quite literally, the picture perfect example of a woman driving herself mad. Just going about her life until an idea makes her go crazy, consumed with the momentary need for perfection-- a concept which is then broken into a million pieces as the shit sheer volume of actual workload hits.


These perfect invitations are one of the many myths perpetuated by Pinterest and DIY Tutorials. Sure it looks easy-- when there's one! By the time your one woman assembly line reaches card number 107 the exact alignment of the words (that just had to be done in hand written calligraphy) just doesn't seem to matter anymore.


But at the end of the day, who is it really for? I knew going into wedding planing that guests care about a few pivotal things: Did the ceremony drag on forever? How's the food? Is there an open bar? What's the bathroom situation? Hey, nice-- You play that funky music white boy! At the end of it all they'll walk away with memories of if the affair was:

1. overall visually pleasing,

2. if they felt contentedly full and buzzed,

3. and if the night was a party or a snoozer.

I look at DIY projects as labors of love that I'll have captured forever in beautifully photographs so I can cherish them for the rest of my life. And a few other key people will cherish them with me. And that will be worth it to me.

So, other than reigning in my vision to maybe one or two awe inspiring details as opposed to all of them, I would still do it all again. Your wedding is an expression of who you and your partner are as a couple. I just happen to be an artist who has expansive idea's and limited physical ability, and my love is passionate about his work (resulting in limited crafting time) and terrible penmanship. If we're being honest, I doubt I could accept help even if I tried. #ControlFreak #CrazyWeddingDIYBride #TiedOneTooManyBows #SanityIsForTheSingle


TLDR: Weddings make people crazy. They can bring out the best, and the worst in people. Shock!

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